Winter, A Poem

Winter...I hate you.

I'm getting old, you're getting cold.
I long for the days of shorts and tees,
You bring days of gloom and freeze.

My bike sits lonely against the wall,
My dog sits shivering, in the hall
The days of sunscreen have long since passed,
Winter, why don't you kiss my ass?

Soon enough the temps will rise,
And Winter I'll look you in the eyes
Your icy stare will scare no more
As I bound naked, out the door

Until that time, you rule the day
And under blankets I will stay
But soon again, I shall run wild
And beat Winter down like a red-headed step child...

Winter, I hate you.....you bastard.

Fight The Good Fight

What do you do when something's in your blood....and yet you wish it weren't?

This is the planning season for 2013. Not just for racing, but for work, family vacations....everything. When I was a kid, I couldn't see past tomorrow....so if you'd told me that I'd be planning a year or more in advance when I was an adult, I would have thought you and my older self were nuts. But...here we are.

The fact is, I can get into Ironman Texas in May if I want to. The registration is open....I have the time to get out there and race....the weekend is open....so?

Here are the reasons for NOT doing it..
1. I hate the Ironman bike ride. It bores me to tears to be out there for 6-7 hours...drinking piss warm Perform and trying to stay positive about why I'm doing this.
2. Most of my training would be done during weather that is far from certain here in NM. The weather in The Woodlands is warm and humid already in May.....in March and April in Abq, we could get anything....except humid....there will be no humid.
3. I'm not great in the heat. Nuff said.
4. It's a long way from home and it's expensive
5. I'd miss Michi and the kids as always
6. I've already done a bunch of slow Ironman races....do I really need another one on my resume?
7. It's a non wetsuit swim in dirty lake water (which honestly doesn't bother me. I've gone 2.4 miles in the Ohio river without a wetsuit twice and it's not a big deal)
8. The chances of a breakthrough performance on that course in that weather are slim.

Ok...so what are the reasons FOR doing it?
1. I'd be an Ironman again....

WTF kind of hold does this have on me?

The Scorpion and The Frog

A scorpion is standing on the bank of a river, wanting to get to the other side. A frog happens by and the scorpion asks "will you give me a ride on your back to the other side?". The frog replies "No, for if I do, you will sting me and I will drown". To that the scorpion says "Why would I sting you? If I do, then I shall drown and die too".

The frog sees the logic of what the scorpion says and they set off. In midstream the scorpion stings the frog and as paralysis sets in and the frog is about to drown, it cries out "Why?? Now we'll both die!!"...

To that the scorpion answers..."Because I'm a scorpion, and that's what scorpions do".

So, why do I share this fable that I vividly remember from my youth with you, my friends? 

As I sit here, planning my work and racing calendar I am constantly fighting the tug of one vital fact.....I hate leaving home. I hate leaving my wife, my children and my dog...in fact, I hate leaving my house. If Michi and I travel, I miss the kids terribly. If all of us travel, I miss Bella and being in my comfortable home.....the possibilities are endless...but always with the same result....I want to be here.

With that, I ask myself..."Why do I keep planning these races if they take me away from home and all that I love?"

My only answer....the only thing that makes any sense to me is...."Because I'm a triathlete, and that's what triathletes do".

Perhaps it's better to embrace that which you don't love about yourself, rather than try to deny it? 

Texas!

Michi and I are officially in for the Memorial Herman Ironman 70.3 Texas in Galveston. This morning we couldn't think of a good reason to NOT sign up....so we did it. Sure, it's some Winter training, but we're Ironmen...so we're good. The races that we've actually signed up for are...

Feb - Tough Mudder AZ
April - Texas IM 70.3

That's it...but more to come. It looks like Buffalo Springs 70.3 might join the list too....it's close, I know the course and I know it's going to be hot (which sucks)...but, at least there are no surprises!

We have some friends and teammates going to Galveston as well...so it will be a bit of a party. The course is dead flat, warm and windy. The wind doesn't bother me....flat is ok (I prefer some hills)...and the heat sucks, but I'm determined to work out a strategy in 2013 to race well in the heat...so this is my first chance to prove it. Good swim, create separation on the bike, get off and run solid...that'll get me the race I want.

See you on the beach!

Radio

The new Endurance Obsession Radio Show has launched (kind of...) with two "test" shows. Here is where to catch all the action!

http://www.spreaker.com/user/enduranceobsession

Thankful

What I'm thankful for...

My amazing wife Michi,
My children,
My job,
My health,
Our little canine daughter Bella,
My mind,
The constant challenges that force me to forge a new, better and stronger me.

How about you?

March Onward

March onward in life...for it's the only way.

You can march backwards and imperil yourself....you cannot see where you're heading or what obstacles might trip you up.

You can march in place...you risk nothing, but gain nothing...

You must march onward....for then, and only then can you achieve your destiny. Your forward march might circle back to where you are today, might take you past people and places that have come apart from your life, or might lead you in a direction you had no conception of....

I'm marching onward, because there is nothing else left for me to do....

Wet

Today was time to get back into the pool. Of all the training I do, pool swimming is the most soul sucking of them all. I've swum (is that a word) exactly ONCE since the SOMA triathlon.....so today I doubled down and made that TWICE. I've got a week and a half until the season ending Polar Bear Triathlon. This is a short 5k/30k/400m tri that I did well at last year....and am looking for the same in 2012. If the conditions are bad...that favors me....so bring on the wind and cold....no worries.

Michi and I just talked and Galveston 70.3 is IN and Florida 70.3 is OUT. I'd love to do both....but financially we just can't swing it and take our anniversary trip in July. So it looks like a winter of riding outdoors when possible and on the trainer when not....

Happy Thanksgiving....

Iron Aftermath

I'm so proud of my wife Michi....she soldiered on to a PR at yesterday's Ironman Arizona. Michi had a tough swim in the cold water of Tempe Town Lake....but starting getting it back on the bike....and ran strong for a 20 minute PR. This is one tough little lady. I know I certainly don't have the full IM mojo anymore....so it's great to see that she committed to the race and made it happen.

As I was out on the course with my buddy Brian Sweet....it was very clear that I had no desire to be out there with those incredible Ironman athletes. None....not at all....whatsoever.

My decision to forego the 2013 AZ slot was very solid....I just don't have the desire to put the time in....training, racing, traveling....for one big event like that. To that end we'll need to reset the 2013 schedule. So now the tentative schedule looks like this...

Feb - Tough Mudder AZ
March - Abq Half Marathon
April - IM Texas 70.3
May - IM FL 70.3 OR Tempe International Tri
August - IM Boulder 70.3 OR Socorro Chile Harvest Tri
September - Survival of the Shawungunks
October - SOMA Half IM

Some won't make the cut....some other smaller races will jump on...but that's what it looks like today....after the Ironman.

No Ironman Arizona

It's decided....I'm foregoing my opportunity to register for the 2013 IM Arizona. Michi and I talked about it....perhaps doing it together next year....but she would have had to register today (this year's athletes get to sign up the day before). I simply couldn't say that I truly want to be here....at least I could not say that today. I was just diagnosed with asthma....and feel like I'm getting control of that. I'd like to do a little racing next season to see how it all goes before I commit to another Ironman...if I ever do that.

I ran this morning and didn't bring my inhaler.....after about 4 good miles I was in the last 1.5 miles and my breathing started to get tight. Nothing too serious but it did make me slow down a bit. I can't believe that I spent the last 7-8 years thinking this was normal....this is the way everyone feels when they run....I can't believe I wasted all that training. Now I can see (and feel) the limitation of asthma....before, I never knew. I'll put a couple of 70.3s under my belt in 2013 to see if there is any difference....then we can discuss Ironman in 2014 or beyond...if the desire is there.

Today...it simply wasn't.

A return to my roots

I'm not sure if I swore I'd never do it....but I definitely figured I never would. "It" in this case is motivational speaking. I work as a sales trainer and consultant....and although there is a fair amount of motivation in that job, it's not the main priority. I swore off motivational speaking when I realized that an hour (or 4) speech might be nice, might be entertaining....but wasn't in itself going to change many lives.

Now, I'm not so sure. I work with sales reps for days, weeks...sometimes months...and don't see any drastic changes (with some)....so I wonder if it's the method or the person? More and more I feel it's the person. If you're predisposed to apply yourself, be positive and make lasting change...you'll do it. Sometimes you just need the catalyst.

This would have been easier 6 years ago when I had more momentum in this side of the business, and I had more contacts....but hard doesn't mean it can't be done. It simply means I will need to put more effort into it. Human growth and personal responsibility is something I definitely enjoy talking about...so it's not work for me....it'll just be work to get some momentum going...that's all. To that end I've created the Master Motivator video series that I started today. 3-5 minute videos on motivation, personal growth and goal achievement. I don't have a set schedule for how often they'll come about...but at least one per week sounds about right. The first one is below.

Some day I'll be dust. When that day comes I want to leave a legacy of people who were better for having known me, better for having heard the message.....so that starts (again) today.

Peace...(not sure why I look like I'm in so much pain in the still below....)

Beat Back The Darkness

You feel it, I do too. You have dark moments....dark days....when you truly believe "it's not going to work out alright this time".

I've had a couple of those recently for different reasons.....and one thing that puts me back on track every time is....action. That is, when I start doing something, anything...to work on the issue, I begin to feel more positive about it. When I begin to feel more positive about the outcome, I work harder on it....and when I work harder on it....

You know.....it turns out alright.

Beat back the darkness with action.....shine a light...kick some ass.

Success

If you're going to succeed at something big, it's going to be hard....deal with it. If you succeed, you'll probably aim higher the next time...making it that much harder....deal with it.

If you want life to be easy...go sit on the couch....and deal with it.

Trying

I don't mean "to try"....I mean taxing circumstances that are trying to you....or me.

Listen, life ain't always easy....and it's probably not going to work out like the storybook you have in your head. When you're faced with adversity you can do a number of things....but they pretty much boil down to 3 options...

1. Quit and run away

2. Stand firm and hope it improves

3. Fight like hell and change the circumstance

So...with all the good in my life, I'm hit with a little "black cloud" time....fuck it, I'm not going to cave in. I'm pushing the clouds back...until the sun can shine again. Screw you if you think I won't.

On another note...this time change is killing us. Michi and I are falling asleep on the couch at 7pm most nights....problem is, the kids aren't...so we need to rouse ourselves in order to keep some order.

Maybe Phoenix has it right...just leave the damn clocks alone and let the light and dark fall where it may.

nite...

Pre Ironman Life

Michi is in her final prep for Ironman Arizona in 9 days time. My job is to get the gear there, be the calming influence, make sure she has everything she needs and cheer like crazy! I'm looking forward to this as I've never spectated an Ironman race before. I'm also manning one shift of a run aid station as a volunteer...which automatically gets me a spot on line to sign up for 2013 if I wish. The 18th is going to be a long day....but one I wouldn't miss. I'm bringing my road bike so I can be mobile during the day to check out the bike course.....get back and forth to the hotel....and maybe even check out some of the run until it gets dark. There is no way to effectively get around Tempe on Ironman day by car....so you'd better have two wheels or two feet.

I can't wait to see my baby run down the chute to the words "Michi Seagrist...you are an Ironman!" yet again....and she will, too.

Last weekend of training for her before we head to AZ.....I'll keep the updates flowing as we get closer.

2013 Schedule

This may not be the final draft....but we've (my baby Michi and I) put a lot of thought into our schedule for 2013. Here's what it looks like...

February - Tough Mudder AZ
April - IMTX 70.3
May - Tempe Olympic
August - Socorro Chile Harvest Tri (NM Club Championships)
October - SOMA Half IM
November - IMAZ

You'll see the middle of the Summer is suspiciously left open.....on purpose. We're going to celebrate our anniversary in Hawaii (where we got married) and spend time on the water with the kids in the boat. I don't want to be a slave to a training calendar the entire year.

I'm certain there will be some last minute events...half marathons, 10Ks and such....but this is the framework of our season....join us for some or all of these races...it'll be a blast!

Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated

So, I thought my racing season was over......it was, right? An Ironman, half IM, couple of sprints here and there. I even set a half marathon PR....enough?

Well, then I went gluten free a couple plus weeks ago and decided to see if it would affect my performance any....and ran a 5K PR last weekend. That got me thinking...

Even though I haven't been training much, I still have a good amount of residual fitness, so I just registered for the (usually small) Polar Bear Triathlon on Dec 1st at White Sands Missile Range in southern NM. This was my first ever triathlon in 1999....and I went back last season after a disappointing outing at IMFL to see what I could do. I raced strong and won my AG and finished 5th overall....albeit in a small race. So....I'm going back this year to empty the tanks again and see what I have left.

Michi and Bella will be with me so I'll have the biggest cheering section in the race!

Every time I say..."That's enough....time to shut it down" another voice in my head says "This is who you are, this is what you do.....go for it"...and for now, that second voice is winning.

Bye bye Eagles

As a kid, everyone I knew was a fan of football..including me. Back in 1978 I became a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles after the infamous "Miracle in the Meadowlands" play against the Giants.

For 34 years of my life I have followed, cheered for and agonized over that team. In that time they've won exactly ZERO Super Bowls. They've had some good teams...and some very bad ones. I cannot remember a time when I actually felt that the Eagles were in control...and that a game, or a season, was secure.

This past Monday night the Eagles played the New Orleans Saints and I felt something coming on. The Eagles played so poorly....they were so hard to watch getting spanked once again that I knew I was done. At halftime I flipped off the TV and sat down with my wife at the table....and told her "I'm done...with the Eagles, with football...everything. I'm not wasting time with it anymore".

And just like that, I am. I don't follow any other sports on TV.....I don't have the desire or the time...and now I'm down to zero sports.

I'll save my cheering for real people, up close and in person, that are doing heroic things with less than pro talent. People a lot like me....I'm done otherwise.

34 years....I don't want em back....but I don't want em anymore either....

Honesty?

I've often wondered how honest I can be with people? Facebook is a fertile test ground for that but I'd hate to come off as the judgmental a-hole who has everything to say to everyone. I have 1800+ "friends" on Facebook....a small group of them real live, or virtual friends...and the rest just people who either hit or accepted the "add as friend" button. I wonder, if I went totally honest today on the stuff I see posted, how many of all of these people would go away?

I hate these things...

I do really...hate blogs. They've always seemed so much mental masturbation as anything else....yet here I am doing it again. My issue is that I don't have an outlet for the voices (or ideas) in my head, and unless I get them out in some semblance of order, they roll around like so many nuts and bolts....always noisy, never creating any value. So that's what this will serve to do.....make order out of chaos.

A few things to make note of..

1. As of today I'm 2 weeks gluten free. This has been a much easier transition than I imagined and I'm going to stick with it for the foreseeable future. I don't know that it's helping....but it sure ain't hurting.

2. I set a new 5K PR on a "walk up" race on Sunday. I decided that morning to do the Doggie Dash 5K and ran 22:11.....a 19 second PR. My 22:30 was run in 2006 or so....so it's been awhile since I've had some speed. I was 4th of 20 in my AG and 19th overall out of about 270. I know, I know...a lot of people were running with their dogs...hey, I'll take it.

3. I'm totally conflicted on signing up for Ironman Arizona 2013. I'm guaranteed a slot since I'm volunteering this year while my wife Michi does the race. After Louisville this year I figured I'd just lay off IM...because the burn wasn't there. Then we had to watch that f'ing IM World Championships on the DVR....and it lit some of the fire again. Louisville this year was my slowest ever IM....16 hours. Not sure I want to go out like that.

4. I set two running PRs this year...half marathon and 5K. Next year the 10K record falls.....and the Olympic distance tri too.

5. I'm in love and in hate with endurance sports. I love the challenge, the feeling of satisfaction at completing an event....yet I hate the regimen of having to train constantly. I'm playing with some ideas by Troy Jacobson about training for older athletes. His take is that the older you get, the shorter your long workouts should become. Accumulated stress is just as good as singular stress, by his model. So a couple of shorter workouts per day stacked day after day is just as good as that 100 mile ride. This is much more in tune with my desire for training......and if the last couple months have any say, it might just work. I've been pretty loose with training after the SOMA half IM....but still I ran well this weekend.

6. I've been diagnosed with exercise induced asthma at my annual physical. This is on the heels of being unable to draw a deep breath on the run at SOMA. I thought I might be having a heart attack but the restriction wasn't in the chest...but in the diaphragm. I've got my first inhaler...

7. I really want to be a better man.....not kidding. My anger has faded as I've aged....but I still make the wrong call too many times. I don't want to wind up as some smiling, simpleton pussy.....but I also don't want to wind up dead in a dumpster either. The middle ground is very narrow and quite hard to find.

8. For all the challenges I face....I'm one of the most fortunate guys that I know. Great wife and kids, good job, nice house, couple of toys, good friends....and the ability to go 140.6 miles with nothing but a pair of goggles, a bike and some running shoes. Seriously, I'm not sure I deserve this....but I'm not giving it back.

9. I'll be 49 years old in a couple of months....and this truly is the best time of my life. You couldn't convince me to go back and be 20 again. It hurts just to think about that guy...

10. I'm not afraid of growing old and I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to do either of those right now...

Nite....