Thoughts at 50

So…I turned 50 a few weeks ago.

50….as in a half a century old.

That thought doesn't freak me out the way you might think. I have no cares about getting old…..no one stops the clock (except Ronnie the Limo Driver) and so there is no use worrying about it. The thing that blew my mind was that I was 50! A half a century. I remember as a kid, I couldn't imagine living to see the year 2000. That would be the year I turned 36. It was almost a definite that I wasn't going that far….for reasons that are cloudy now. So 50 was completely out of the question…yet here I am.

I was proud to turn 40. I'd just done my first marathon…..did my first Ironman at age 40. I felt like I was better than 40 when I reached that landmark. At 50….I'm not really sure what I feel. It's kind of a no man's land.

I don't feel old….but no longer feel young. Maybe that's exactly where I'm supposed to be. I hear those ridiculous sayings "50 is the new…." It's the new and the old freaking 50…that's what it is! Why try to make it something it's not?

So…where does that leave me? Not sure really….I'm just here. I do realize that there are some things in life that I'm simply going to run out of time on….not that I can't do them….but I won't have enough years to do them. Even with that, I plan on a pretty accomplished resume by the time I check out of here.

This Sunday I'll run the Sweetheart Run 10K with my sweetheart Michi…..my first race as a 50 year old. I expect that I'll run hard, it'll hurt…and I'll either have a good race or a bad one. In other words….no different than when I was 49.

Except I'm not 49…..I'm 50…..